The True Self

The true self200As a society, we often lack direction, endlessly searching for individuality and our true purpose in life. Too often, our instinct that directs us toward what we really want in life gets eclipsed by the “social norms” or what we think is expected of us. It’s often at this point that deep sadness, depression and despair can set in.

Breaking away from our comfort zone seems frightening, and taking a chance on life changing experiences is daunting. We fear self-judgement as well as the judgement of our peers. So the question is: who are you…really?

Ask the right questions.

Asking the right questions of yourself can sometime help to create a clearer picture of who you really are and what you want to achieve. Some of the questions you can ask yourself might be:

Why do I do what I do?

Answering this question helps you understand what your purpose for being is. It might be because you have the instinct to help people, or to make the world a better place – really think about what you feel passionate about.

What are my strengths?

Your strengths provide insight into what you are really about. Write a list of things you’re awesome at. Ask friends, colleagues or partners for help because we often don’t see ourselves clearly. Be careful not to dismiss strengths you think are not so positive.

What’s my promise to the world?

Once you’ve got your list of attributes, own them and be those things in the world. Write down 10 things you can do to be more self-expressed in a way that’s aligned with your strengths. This will be different for everyone.

Judgement is the key to the downfall of dreams

Whether we’re judging ourselves or others, it’s rarely a good thing. Judgement is based on what we consider ‘normal’ leaving very little room for true self expression. While judgement is useful when classifying actions as right or wrong, judging others or ourselves in terms of weight, race, age or religion is not acceptable.

Often, we don’t feel comfortable in our own skin, not because of how we feel, but of how we fear others feel – the fear of rejection.

 What is true for you feels light

The body has an intelligence of its own. A good thing to remember is that your body does not talk to you in words, but rather in feelings of light and heavy. What is true for you will always feel light; what is not for you will always feel heavy. This can be true in all situations, from deciding what you want to wear for the day to wondering whether you should accept that new job offer or not.

 How does it get any better than this?

Whenever something good happens or something bad happens, ask yourself the question: “How does it get any better than this?” It will improve a bad situation and make a good one even better!


Source: King, E. Wellbeing, 22nd April 2014.